I once started a blog several times over times over without really starting.
I just was not sure.
What I doubted was not my ability to write but…there were just so many other doubts. What if I did not find inspiration? What if I did not have the time to update or respond to people regularly? What if I just found it difficult to go around my site because I just find it all too technical? ( I really don’t know my way around computers except on the keyboard :)) And chief of all doubts… What do I have to say anyway?
But that desire never went away, that knowing that this is something I not only can do, but something that I ought to do. And I kept procrastinating, but I never made up my mind when I was going to start or to deliberately overcome my doubts in order to start; I just kept pushing it in the background.
I had a little time on my hands one day. I entered into my office and I said, “Lord, please show me what to do with this time.” The blog came up in my mind immediately. I still found it difficult to navigate the site. I still didn’t know what to write. I still wasn’t sure if I was going to find the time on a regular basis but I had made up my mind – I would start blogging actively from that morning.
There is that ‘morning’ sister, that fateful defining moment so pivotal to divine destiny, where you find courage and grace to step out, still not sure. You rise up to the occasion, still not sure. You go back to that place you know you belong, still not sure. You pick up that project, still not sure. The only thing you are sure about is this – ‘GOD is with me.’
I am writing to help you rise from that paralysis caused by fear, misgivings, and just plain self-consciousness. Maybe you do have cause to be anxious, but you cannot hand over your life to the bondage of fear. You have to arise and move, knowing that you are walking with a God that is Faithful and can be trusted. When you arise from that couch of depression, self-consciousness and/or self-pity and and go after your destiny, grace will meet with you; bringing you courage, passion and faith to launch forward.
That ‘morning’ is not ‘a.m’ time. It is right now as you read and you feel that stirring within you. Don’t shut it down by going down that road of excessive reasoning again. Instead, think about your future in terms of your dreams, those things that you know you can do, those things you know you are meant for, those things that God has spoken to you. Don’t put it off indefinitely anymore. Stop giving yourself excuses. “I don’t have time… It is because of what has happened in the past I laid off… Nobody is there to help me… What will so and so person think or say?” Etc The questions to answer is; ‘Am I going to cheaply quit on my future in God or am I going to belong with the few that set foot in and taste of the fruit of the ‘promised land?’
My greatest desire as I write this is that a holy resolve will rise in you to say; ‘I am not handing over my life to my circumstances. I will arise again!’