It is common knowledge that we live in a rather impressionable generation. With values changing almost as quickly as fashion trends, it is clear that ‘peer pressure’ is no longer an experience limited only to adolescence. Too many of us are spending our lives looking for ‘fans,’ too worried about what other people think of us. Caught up in the ‘gang mentality;’ we have lost our own identity. When we loose our identity, we also loose self-determination, and we are subjected to living short of the best that we can be.

Every woman needs to base her sense of self on something that does not change. This is what gives birth to ‘confidence that is confident.’ If our confidence is based on our fickle emotions, or appearance, or our performance in a task, then we would most of the time walk around with a second class opinion of ourselves. We do not feel good all the time. With things like child-bearing or growing older, even illnesses; outward appearance may change, and everyone makes a dumb mistake every now and then. So we all need to learn to keep our behaviour, performance, appearance, assets or the attitude of others towards us seperate from our self-worth.

Wearing you confidence like an accessory starts with changing the way you see you but it ends with changing the way you see others. It begins with knowing you, accepting you, believing in you, and and celebrating you; but it ends with being able to give yourself to others in a selfless manner. One vital proof of a healthy self-image is being freed from selfishness. Extravagance or attention-seeking in any form and an attitude of superiority by no means prove anyone confident. As a matter of fact, they may well indicate insecurity. Education, skills and talents all add to confidence. Yet they do not necessarily guarantee confidence. It is mostly a function of the value you place on yourself. So you can relax and concentrate on being yourself. The next time you see a bold yet kind woman, who is at peace with herself, not fretful or resentful, who can receive and give love; and has faith enough for tomorrow; now that’s a confident one – content, hopeful, and happy.